DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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