Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
