her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
