i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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