so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize