That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
