Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
