Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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