man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
