Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
