i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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