Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
