we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
