friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
