she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
