Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
