just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
