You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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