Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize