mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You've changed since you got that strap on
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
