i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the day after is always just damage control
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
