Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
