But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
sex in a hospital.. check
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
