Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Buhtt sex?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
