my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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