I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
home. puking in laundry basket.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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