oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
