are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Couch. On fire.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
