Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize