Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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