This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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