why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
