if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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