your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
