Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
