..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
