Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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