There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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