Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
