How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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