Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
