then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize