And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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