how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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