She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
