I've blown a few things in my day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
