I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
