we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
