I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
