lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
