I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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