anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
