my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize