sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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