She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
