Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
