omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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