I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Are we still banned from the library?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
