Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
