i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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