I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
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No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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