at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
