Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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