That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
