Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
