Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
